Notes from a Melomaniac - Happy World Music Day - 21st June

 

“If music be the food of love, play on…” Shakespeare’s renowned Twelfth Night begins with these words uttered by the protagonist Orsino, who is lost in love with Olivia. This sentence is etched in my head since school days, such is the power of language and music, itself.

So, a day without music? Nah, I don’t know what it feels like! Does one forget to breathe after all? All music lovers have their own private connection with music – through their playlists from different times. Each song has a story, a memory associated, some good, some sad, or some, that are just filled with a random emotion, some for the rain, some for a bright sunny morning, some that just put you to a peaceful sleep, some that give you a musical hug, or some that give you a hearty cry, letting you vent it all out, without any human intervention. These are the private moments with music that you build, and maintain over a period of time.

Thanks to my cousin (my big brother), who first introduced me to this haven, by helping me carry music along. He gifted this precious Sony Walkman, through which I could listen to music on the go, especially during train journeys. Those were the days when AR Rahman’s songs were a rage, and the Walkman became an addiction, a must-have travel package, without which I didn’t know what a train journey was. The sound of the train touching the fish-plates used to be synonymous with that of ARR’s music – one such album is Dil Se.

Having grown up listening to ARR first, I then dug backwards – Ilayaraja and MSV, with the help of my mom’s craziness associated with music. Carnatic is a different genre altogether, and it’s like an acquired taste with foods. My playlists expanded in no time, quite rapidly with all types. As much as I love Carnatic and Western Music, I have this extraordinary madness for Raja Sir's music. The list is just endless, can you assess the depth of the ocean? Such is the depth of music as well, it’s unfathomable, and is an endless treasure, never failing to keep you sane. It's like music for each mood you are in. Carrying music with me stuck to me as a trait, thanks to my brother for sowing these seeds early enough.

The therapeutic values of music are already proven well enough, so much so that with my own experience during my very recent pregnancy, I engaged myself with this self-stress-busting activity of singing and listening to music, which kept me sane enough throughout the period. After all, the benefits of listening to the music you love, even impacts fetal health in a positive way, I can vouch for this, as am seeing a live example of it in my child, post-delivery. If ever you thought how would infants understand music, just a couple weeks ago, I happened to listen to music being played in the Neonatology Intensive Care Unit at the hospital where I had the delivery – this is a place where they keep infants/newborns under observation and treatment for various reasons. When asked to the duty nurse about the music that was being played in this unit, she said with a smiling face that they were instructed by the doctor for music to be played, as it promotes pleasantness, leading to better sleep in infants.

Music helps build so many human connections, by building bridges directly into the minds of people, where even words fail to do their job. Sharing a thought vs. Sharing a song makes a difference of sea and earth, it immediately stitches any scars or fortifies existing connections! The excitement of sharing a liking for similar music knows no bounds.

Without further ado, wishing you all a Happy Music Day. Engage in some form of music or the other, sing your heart out and bask in the mirth of music!

Leaving you all with a collage of my favorite music related quotes.

False Positivity

 

Positivity is one of the most overrated emotions – as though if you’d turn on a switch, in no time, the brain would communicate to the heart to wash out the negativity and pump in positive cells in the blood stream!

Welcome to the Utopian World of Optimism!

In the name of optimism, there are groups, clubs, organisations, social media pages, a million search results, and pop-up feeds asking you to stop the negative thinking right away and ingest positivity.

Granted that having a healthy and positive mindset, does help with a better view of any given situation. However, in order to firmly accomplish that, you will need to first acknowledge the negativity. Before you replace the negative thought with a positive thought, you will have to be careful in not suppressing the negative emotion in the first place.

Understand the situation, think through the negativity, and the rough patch that you are going through. Follow it up by venting it out to someone who is emotionally intelligent and trustworthy. Remember that both these parameters need to be mandatorily met for you to vent the feelings out. Level-headedness first, and if they’re level-headed, to a large extent, they’d most likely be trustworthy as well, but double-check for your own safety. If you don’t have any such people in your circle, kindly refrain from sharing. Instead, turn to praying or self-meditation. Even isolating yourself for a bout of tears is extremely helpful in letting out the emotions. The whole point is, you will first need to get the emotion out of your system in order to get to the next step of adopting a better frame. Think of it like trying on different frames at an optical store, you’d first remove one to wear another, right?

This may sound like a lengthy process while transitioning from one frame to another, however, it could be solved sooner than you think, if only you pause for a moment and accept the reality first.

This post is in no way a preaching against optimism – if you carefully exercise some of your emotional intelligence, you will understand that for the positivity to last in your head, it certainly helps to let the dust settle and then take the optimism on, head-on!

It takes mindfulness and tons of patience to practise this method, however, it is an extremely rewarding experience. You might think that it would take a long time to get the emotion out through this process, however, if done in a timely manner when you are actually feeling it, it works wonders. It’s much better than having to suppress the feeling and forget about it, as the repercussions of this are unhealthy and like deposited fat, you’d have deposited emotions, that yield zero interest. It would instead compound and make things even worse!

In essence, if you ever get the chance to help someone through such a situation, please do them a favor by helping them acknowledge the negativity first, rather than shunning it right away. Once you acknowledge, you are already onboard for helping them through the next train of thoughts – after all, when there’s a weed in the plant, don’t you first help it by cutting that out, to let a new leaf grow?

Make human contacts warmer – talking through helps, consider holding hands or offering a hug (if you can), these go a very long way to pacify and instill a sense of calmness.

Next time you feel low, angry, distressed, irritated, or any other synonym related to this feeling, remember that it is okay to be not okay – Batteries have both sides too! Just remember to not dwell in these thoughts for long, take a break, and offer yourself some distractions. Mindfully then practise the art of acknowledging the negative situation and then realign yourself. It’s as simple as that.

Disclaimer: This is based on a true incident that happened to me as recent as last week, in an absolute state of distress due to post-partum; until I heard a couple of words from my doctor who just said something very simple to me – I am sure you would feel stressed it’s okay to be that way. Just Feel It first and then move on!

That’s it – that’s all I needed, and not some fancy positivity rant-filled advice. With that, I just needed some alone-time to cry it all out and then have a conversation with God. My wireless connection got stronger after all!

 

 

 

Advice about Advice

For advising in itself is an art. There are subtleties to it, which need to be handled with care. Remember you’re dealing with live emotions when you rattle out your piece of advice. How much of it gets into their head, depends directly on the tone, and the content of info you want to pass along. Just because there’s a lot coming from your experience, it doesn’t directly give you the passport to infiltrate the listener’s head with information overload. There’s a tactic and a method to this craziness called Advice. 

There’s absolutely no problem if we aren’t good at this technique, we just need to hold our horses and slow down. Sugarcoating words like my 2 cents, my suggestion, etc., would make zero sense if the listener isn’t in the frame of mind in the first place. 

With that said, here’s a paradox about it. Still try the advising technique, by doing an easy temperature check of the emotions and situation, and then start in small dosages. If it works it does, otherwise, save for another time, when it’s appropriate. The fear of the other person failing miserably could take precedence over your instincts, and that’s probably what’s prompting your rant-driven advice. But this can be easily spotted through your temperature check of emotions, where you can easily tell how prepared the person is. It’s as simple as that. High amounts of Patience levels are required for both parties. 

If all this seems too much, it’s absolutely normal to stay quiet, and just keep the person in your prayers, which will go a longer way, than a failed verbal attempt. 

As I write this, I vouch for every word and punctuation of this piece, as this is exactly what l

follow with everyone, alike, to my best possible knowledge. I also have a list of people who constantly return to me for advice. The proof of the pudding lies in the eating, isn’t it? To advice, and be advised, it takes a great deal of mind positioning and awareness of the present situation. If you let your own thoughts run like a train, there’s no way, people would pay heed, which will possibly lead to your own isolation. 

P.S. No hard feelings. This was a much needed let-out.