“We’ll cross the bridge when we get there…”

 

“We’ll cross the bridge when we get there…” “Let’s see…” “Going with the flow...” are perhaps a couple of statements that are abused, loosely used, without any mindfulness. Yes, they are highly sensible statements and sound uber cool and trendy. However, we have to take a look at it with some amount of planning. We won’t really be able to see and cross the bridge and go with the flow, because we wouldn’t even get there without a certain amount of mindfulness and planning. And this principle of planning applies to all walks of life – not just work, but personal lives too. By planning, it doesn’t mean, one plans for 5 years ahead. It can easily be divided into short-term and long-term goals.

The 21/90 rule is a highly helpful methodology because for anything to fuel and find a ray of progress, it begins with being habitual. When tried and tested for 21 days straight, it truly becomes a habit and when followed for 90 days diligently, it certainly becomes a lifestyle. Even if for some reason, when one cannot lead a lifestyle that was built for 90 days, we can easily bounce back into that lifestyle because we already are well aware of the potential eventualities and would be used to the pattern from before.

It is at this stage, that one can, with full freedom say, we’ll cross the bridge when we get there, or Let’s see or Let’s go with the flow … One Day at a time, Carpe Diem and all those fanciful terms, for we are fully aware of the consequences and are prepared to handle ANY challenges that come along. Without having followed the 21/90 rule, when we make loose statements for changes in life, it really wouldn’t hold water or make practical sense. There’s no point in then blaming the situation for having risen. We were probably then just struggling hard to keep up with the trend, for the sake of it, only to meet failure, without a solid plan in place. By not being prepared ourselves, we also end up jeopardising the daily lives of our fellow members at work or family. Overthinking and getting overwhelmed for everything then follows suit.

Think 21/90, next! It works at least 80% of the time!

Charity Begins at Home

 

Om Shri Ganeshaya Namaha, Shri Saraswathyai Namaha, Shri Gurubhyo Namaha.

॥ॐ श्री गणेशाय नमः ॥ ॐ श्री सरस्वत्यै नमः ||

||ॐ श्री गुरुभ्यो नमः||

Charity begins at home. And that was the clarion call that kept blowing aloud throughout the Brahmin’s Global Meet 2023, held at Palakkad. A big thanks to Mr. Karimpuzha Raman and his team for putting together a confluence of great minds from across the globe. I am very thankful for having been able to attend and listen to some of the most eminent brains of Bharath. The team has some very sophisticated plans on the anvil, that include a business forum and a mobile app, to stay united even after this meet, and not part ways until the next meeting.

For change to happen, we must be the change ourselves, after-all. These might sound like mere rhetoric and cliched statements, yet extremely essential in raising awareness in every Brahmin household. When there’s an impending threat to Sanathana Dharma, it’s up to each and every Brahmin, to be responsible in standing up for each other, united in cause, regardless of geography and language. Unity begets Unity, it’s that simple.

The Global Meet aimed to cover relevant topics that will help come out with a workable model, something that is sustainable, with something for everyone. It first begins with busting the myth that Sanathana Dharma in its core is merely Brahminical hegemony. It’s a lot more than what meets the eye, on a superficial level. Brahmins are but people who uphold the values of Vedas – which in turn puts us directly on the role of providing service back to the society by way of teaching Vedic values. There’s a popular saying from the Vedas – "परोपकारार्थं इदं शरीरं। It is a reminder that our existence and abilities are meant to be used for the betterment of others and society as a whole.

So, if we are to teach something, we must have the never-ending fire to unlearn and learn. It commences with acknowledging the fact that we must have faith in the Vedas, making an attempt to practise it, and then adapting to the lifestyle. This in no way means that one must shed modernity for us to learn about our own Ramayana and the Mahabharatha. Concepts, Characters and Examples from The Mahabharatha and Ramayana, still hold relevance and water for every walk of life. The study of the scriptures, chanting slokas on a daily basis, attempting to do the Nithya Karma Anushtanams don’t require one to reach retirement age. A sapling doesn’t become a tree overnight when planted – it takes time to build habits and live it diligently. We can be modern and spiritual all at once, if only we try.

The Global Meet brought out several ways for us to gain prominence back in the mainstream – from entrepreneurship to Vedic studies to dance to music, study of culture, tradition, fashion and much more. This is why I began this piece saying, there’s something for everyone to practise Dharma in their own way, and in turn attain Self-Realisation/Moksha. The Ramayana and Mahabharatha have a plethora of examples of how salvation was attained through pure love, art, music and dance… It’s heartening to see that social media today, has plenty of examples of young folks who spread knowledge about Sanathana Dharma by way of living as examples in fields like Food, Music, Dance, Art, Teaching, Mentoring, Management Lessons etc., - all drawing parallels from The Ramayana and Mahabharatha.

Vocation decides the Varna, and not birth. In this sense, a Brahmin can become a Vaishya by way of being an entrepreneur, or a Shudra by way of providing services – working in jobs and being an employee, or a Kshathriya by joining any of the forces of the country. One can tread back and forth the Varna system with utmost ease, provided that we’re rooted in Dharma. We should also not be caught up with fighting for women equality because our scriptures always hail women as complimenting the men – The Arthanareeshwar is the embodiment of this classic example.

For us to be heard and be impactful, it takes each individual from every Brahmin household to uphold the values of Dharma and not shy away from following our own traditions, no matter where we are. Simple things include at the least chanting the Gayathri Manthram, always wearing the poonal (it’s not an option to remove, and question the very basis of it. Instead make an attempt to go learn about it), wearing our traditional symbols like Pottu, Vibhuthi, Kumkumam, wherever we are. We are all very visual people and believe that seeing is believing. So, it’s essential to sport our tradition, and should never be considered as a demeaning or degrading demeanor. It’s sad to know that wearing all this have become nice to haves rather than being a must have! What’s even sadder is that, a fellow Brahmin is one’s biggest foe! Unless we practise it ourselves, our children will have nothing to follow or take after, so the onus lies on us. We should seek answers and validation from our own scriptures, rather than relying upon Whatsapp forwards.

When folks from other faiths can be united with pride, to influence Sanathana Dharma, it takes us to grow a SPINE and give back answers; quote from our own scriptures and be proud of it, ourselves. There’s nothing wrong in flaunting something that’s as eternal as Sanathana Dharma – which has stood the test of time, for centuries together, despite innumerable threats to destroy it. Knowledge is the only thing that doesn’t go through the law of Diminishing Marginal Utility.

Charity thus begins at home, it takes us all to return to our roots, to where we belong. Every Brahmin is their own ambassador of Sanathana Dharma in that sense. Let’s stay united for the cause and not make a mockery of each other, continuing to fall for Western concepts. This is a time when the West is making its way to learning about Sanathana Dharma…the internet is full of such examples. The Vedas never claim that it’s only the Brahmins who must prosper and not the rest. A classic sloka that reminds us of this is – लोकः समस्ताः सुखिनो भवन्तु … Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu…this only goes to show the inclusivity that’s replete in Sanathana Dharma.

I’d like to end with the Shanthi Manthra:

ॐ सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः ।                            

सर्वे सन्तु निरामयाः ।

सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु ।

मा कश्चित् दुःख भाग्भवेत् ॥

oṃ sarve bhavantu sukhinaḥ

sarve santu nirāmayāḥ

sarve bhadrāṇi paśyantu mā kaścidduḥ khabhāgbhaveta।

oṃ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ॥

Written by Usha Ramani

 

 

 

Importance of Vedic Knowledge in Modern Times.

This is a topic that was part of the Brahmin’s Global Meet 2023, that is being held at Palakkad (Sep 22 to 24 2023). I happened to take down some notes on this, here are some excerpts that caught my attention. The speakers were: Sri M.A. Madhusudhanan (Vedic Scholar), Dr. Eswaran (Founder Vedanta Institute, Bangalore), Dr. CS Yogananda (A mathematician, turned – Chairman and MD of Sriranga Digital Software Technologies Pvt. Ltd.) Dr. CS Yogananda is actively looking to make the Vedic texts available in digital space.

22^nd Sep 2023, some excerpts:

Vedic knowledge is not restricted to mere chanting knowledge of the Vedas, instead, it begins with understanding of the 14 angams (parts) of the Vedas.

The 14 angams include:

I.                    Angams (understanding of the layers of Vedams):

a.       Seeksha – understanding the Pronunciation

b.       Vyakaranam – understanding the Grammar

c.       Chandas – understanding the Meter

d.       Niruktham – understanding the Etymology

e.       Kalpam – understanding the different functions like Upakarma, Upanayanam, Panigraha, etc.,

f.        Jyothisham – understanding of planetary movements

g.       Nyayam – Logic

h.       Mimamsa – to analyze, realize and discuss deeply

i.         Dharmashasthra – the guide to social behaviour, ethical norms, individual behaviour, etc., (more like a routine)

j.         Puranam – intricate layers of symbolism depicted via our scriptures

II.                  Upavedams: (Applied Knowledge)

a.       Ayurvedam – science of medicine

b.       Arthashasthra – economic policies, political science, statecraft, etc.,

c.       Gaandharva Vedham – Art and Music

d.       Dhanurveda – associated with sports, archery, etc.,

As we all know, concepts like zero, algebra (Bheeja Ganitham, that’s how Algebra came into being), geometry, all of them have their roots in our Vedas. The very word Guru means heavy opposite of Laghu (meaning light), which is why the teacher is referred to as Guru – one who is loaded with knowledge – rightly so even the heaviest planet is named Guru (there isn’t so much of meaning that comes out when we merely utter the word Jupiter)! Even the word Iron has its roots in Sanskrit – “Ayaha.” One can go on and on with such references, the essence is to be convinced about the fact that our Vedas instill culture, values, and provide holistic education, as opposed to Macaulay’s theory of education.

Vedic Education provides scope to improve the mind’s RAM (Random Access Memory) and aids in attaining life’s goals from a spiritual standpoint as well. It not only dwells with achieving materialistic goals, but also, realization of the Self. Which is why this type of education must be viewed as in the below:

Dharma – providing for the community (from Artha)

Artha – providing security for one’s own by way of earning and saving.

Kama – Desires, sensual pleasures

Moksha – Salvation

Vedas don’t ever exhort to skip the first 3 parts and go straight to Moksha, for it’s never possible to attain Moksha, without going through the cycle of exhausting our desires and needs.

Vedic knowledge is not merely important, but also a dire necessity in current times, with the Gayathri Manthra being the essence of the Vedas…”Gayantham Thrayathethi ithi Gayathri…” (it protects the one who recites it). The chanting of Gayathri directly helps with the unfolding of the Buddhi (Bhargo Devasya Dhee Mahi, Dheeyoyona Prajodhayathu…. Dhee meaning Buddhi here). Of all the births, human birth is considered the one with the highest intellect, which is why every action for a human is either driven by the Manas and Buddhi (Mind + Intellect). We humans have the power of differentiation between the right and the wrong. It’s in order for us to be able to exercise this power in a righteous manner, that Vedic Education becomes of utmost necessity. The mind is after all composed of Emotions, Likes/Dislikes, Feelings, Desires and Impulses.  The Gayathri when chanted with staunch devotion, controls the mind and intellect and kindles the spiritual fire.

It is said that a Brahmin’s life is meant to be dedicated to social service, so much so that a Brahmin is actually supposed to get “dhaanam,” from another and chant Gayathri. If you look at it technically, when getting dhaanam from another, it is their material wealth, paapas and punyas that come to the Brahmin. The Brahmin then chants Gayathri in order to help exhaust those paapas and punyas. So, the Brahmin’s job is directly vested in taking care of the spiritual progress of another. In that sense, this is the highest form of social service one could be entrusted with, and such is the power of the Maha Gayathri Manthram.

A question from the audience made me wonder why even such a question arose after listening to a wealth of knowledge imparted by the esteemed speakers… He asked – “If the Gayathri Manthram is so important, when was it written by Sage Vishwamithra, and if so, why was it late and not written earlier!” To me, this sounded like his understanding of the subject was sadly just superficial and that his mind did not delve deep into understanding the greatness of the Vedas. A fitting reply was given, with a lot of humility – the speakers replied in unison that the Vedas are Apaurusheyam – which means they’re infinite and have no chronological order. Although it is said that Gayathri Manthra came from Sage Vishwamithra, we have to understand this a bit conceptually – “Rishaya Manthra Drishtaraha…” which means the Gayathri Manthra obviously existed and it was visible or rather appeared to Sage Vishwamithra. Not that it did not exist previously, just like gravity existed even before the apple fell on Newton’s head. Vishwamithra literally means friend of the universe – this could be perceived as the Supreme Being the friend and guardian of the universe. Hence the Gayathri Manthram was given to the world in this manner. One of the speakers, Shri Madhusudhanan (a traditional Vedic Scholar), urged the womenfolk in the house to get the men to chant the Gayathri Manthra meticulously – obviously, anything that holds so much relevance and spirituality needs to be practiced with intent, without fail. He drove a very simple point home by way of giving 3 A’s - Acknowledging, Attempting and Adapting, in order to pursue the goal of Vedic Knowledge. For without these 3 A’s, it would be an effort in vain.

In conclusion, the duty lies with us younger generation to get back home (in the sense, our own culture, traditions and value system) and spread the greatness of Vedas not just by speaking about it, but also living it each and every day.

Usha Ramani

 

 

 

Busting some myths that came my way:

 

1. Oh it’s just “Work at home” for you, so it is easy… 2 things here: first, it isn’t “Work at home.” It’s Work From Home. There’s a difference and it alters the meaning entirely. One may want to refer Google or a dictionary to learn the difference between the two. Second, with Work From Home, it’s actually even more difficult, because you have to be more available at work, and be sincere than ever before to sustain your rights to continue working from home.
2. When someone believes in the theory of “Well begun is half done,” value them for their sense of preparedness. It takes nothing for a person to procrastinate. For someone who is prepared months ahead before the actual task begins, it takes a daily effort to make things work in the long run.
3. Each to one’s own. For someone like me who is looking to rejoin work in a couple months, it takes the world to put things together well ahead, first mentally. Simply because I have never ever taken a break from my job ever since I started my career back at the age of 18. So no two references are the same. Consider this :)

Starting with Vinayaka Chathurthi

 

Vinayaka Chathurthi takes a special place in my heart, for the success story related to my career at Northern Lights. Whatever I am today, career-wise at NLTD, the credit goes to our very own Vinayakar.

Here’s a short account of the background and the most recent occurrence, that too, on this very same day, today.

8 years ago, I had a huge responsibility of single-handedly beginning a pilot project – that had to be transitioned from the US team, post my visit to the office location in Toccoa, GA.

When I returned to Chennai post my trip, I felt so lonely and challenged. I was simply not confident about how it would all pan out. However, I was truly blessed enough to get to start the project on the day of Vinayaka Chathurthi. I still remember letting the US team know the significance of Vinayaka Chathurthi and they were genuinely happy for this auspicious start of the project.

Lord Ganesha helped with every obstacle in the way and offered all the strength I needed. Thankful that the project is now successful and we have a team across 2 locations and multiple sub-projects. By far, ours is the biggest team in the office, with what started off as a pilot project. Humble beginnings indeed.

8 years later, on the very same occasion of Vinayaka Chathurthi, a day before I plan to begin meeting my boss on a weekly basis, post a maternity break, I receive a new replacement laptop from office. Like a child, I went running to Amma and told her that I got my new laptop on the day of Vinayaka Chathurthi today. She was resting and almost half asleep – but all she said was – keep it in the Pooja room next to the Ganesha idol where we did a pooja today on account of Chathurthi. I had the exact same thought process as she did.

Although I have a couple months still to rejoin work, I wanted to stay in touch with work and get started in a small way and it couldn’t have gotten better – a wonderful precedence to the very beginning or rather, a comeback, with a responsibility higher than ever before in my life – that of being Amma of Niraamaya.

I am thankful to Lord Ganesha for helping me slowly get back to the groove, that too, exactly a day after Vinayaka Chaturthi. Surrendering all that’s lying ahead to Ganesha and getting started humbly, yet again.

Happy to be writing this piece on the new laptop, my first document on Vinayaka Chathurthi.

Thank you, Pillayarappa!!

 

Happy Teachers’ Day!

“A Good Teacher is someone who leaves a mark in your life, beyond their area of expertise and knowledge. “ 

“Acharya Devo Bhava.” Shri Gurubhyo Namaha.”

There are some teachers who’ll be etched in your heart forever, here’s why:

To that loving 🥰 heart from kindergarten whose song I still sing - If you’re happy and you know, clap your hands! If you’re happy and you know, tap your feet…! Thelma mam, Happy Teachers’ Day

To that teacher whose training in Hindi still makes me write and remember Hindi — Blossom Mam, Happy Teachers’ Day

“Debit what comes in, credit what goes out.” Debit the receiver, credit the giver.” To that one mam who changed the world for me with her way of teaching - something as annoying as Maths became so user-friendly to me through her Accountancy classes, that I still remember the golden rules of Accounting from 25 yrs ago! I don’t detest Maths that much, you made me confident through your way of teaching Accounts, and vested confidence in me. Thank you dear Reena Mam, happy Teachers’ Day!

To that sir whose principles of supply and demand still dictates my understanding in Economics. To that teacher who uses layman’s terms to help explain the value of economics, with something as basic as Tapioca! Tony sir, Happy Teachers’ Day!

Finally, To Sir, with Love: I owe my English to you. Thank you for spending time with me after class to have those beautiful conversations. I began writing so much, only to take after you! Look what you’ve made of me. Happy Teachers’ Day dear  Madhu sir! To that secret crush 😅simply because of your intelligence and humility.

An Ode to Amma on her special day ✨🧿

The saddest thing I still have etched in my heart is how I was robbed of my childhood with you for the initial 15 yrs of my life. Am ever grateful to God for having moved on separately with you post that. Whatever it is, I will love you more every single day. You’re the one who I hope to be like, for my little daughter…I’d consider myself successful if I am able to do at least half-justice. The only person who understands my emotions as a mother, the only person who has been spending sleepless nights with me since my delivery…the only person who shares my workload without even me asking for it.

Warmth, love, coziness. Amma🖤🧿✨ My most favourite human, bestest of best friends, partner in crime, my cheer leader, my music partner, my management guru, and what not. You have this uncanny ability to bring out the best in me, always. Thanks for being my unsung guardian angel. The amount of struggle undergone by you is unfathomable. Still, all I’ve seen is, you smiling and being patient. It takes great strength to gather this kind of courage to stare at adversity and challenges and smile with ease. Taking things as they come and not making a hue and cry of them calls for resilience and determination. Thank you for inspiring me daily Amma. Epitome of Patience and Emotional Intelligence. 

Just very few pics we have with each other, yet we know each other so well! I pray to God for your good health and peace of mind. May you be protected from all evil eyes 🧿 May you be surrounded by good vibes.  🌈 ✨❤️🤍

There’s never enough that I can write about you… Words will fail before your heart ❤️ 

Happy birthday my Best ❤️ 

The Language of Crying

No I am not a cry baby. Because crying is my language: It’s my only way to communicate. Next time my baby hears the word cry baby, if she had the mouth to frame words: she’d smack back saying - hey you, go get your research done well! This is the only way I can communicate! 

What’s language after all? It’s a medium of expression. Even with all the diction and face to face interactions, adults fail miserably in communicating, forget communicating, they find it hard to even talk or complete a sentence without preconceived notions or judgement. 

So all the baby knows, is to cry. Cry to communicate everything. Consider this, imagine ringing a bell for every little thing. How do you spot the difference? Granted if there’s a different bell tone for each type, and it’s all well demarcated, you can tell because of the pre-programming. You cannot interpret with artificial intelligence to understand the types of crying of newborns. Each to one’s own as well, btw. It’s not so that the neighbour’s kid cries in a certain way and hence I’d take it that mine cried for possibly the same reason, or may be an older grand child probably cried for some reason. There’s only so much you can do to calibrate. For the rest, it’s a painstakingly rewarding process to understand the types of crying and attending to it on time, every time. It takes grit and high levels of patience to understand the behavioural patterns round the clock, to get why your little one is crying. As with the pregnancy, every child is unique too. Of course, there could be commonalities, however, there’s no shortcut to understanding the reasons of crying of your own little one.

And so began my journey with motherhood, trying to understand those extended cries of hunger, to those little ones, to the disgruntled ones, to needing of my warmth, to the discomforts, to the little sounds, to when she’s about to doze off, and what not. What’s even more emotional is the fact that I end up crying myself seeing the little one cry…without any rhyme or reason.

It’s just like troubleshooting, you have a few checkpoints, that are your SOS guide, like a Triage Handling Mechanism. Thanks to my project handling experience that came in handy, the most important aspect that I could easily adapt was the notes-taking portion and staying organised, with a lot of discipline. It may sound so old-school, but it’s definitely worth every second. How would you respond if the house is on fire, such is the urgency with which you’d need to act when dealing with newborns. Imagine the amount of preparation that needs to go in throughout the 24 hrs! The last few weeks have been a great blessing for me in every way, because every hurdle was an opportunity in understanding my little one’s language a little better. It’s not so much that I have a mastery over it, yet I am beginning to construct sentences with the help of my newborn. See how they are your teachers already?! 

This full-time occupation at hand is an opportunity to build tons and tons of patience and perseverance. The most important trick of the trade is to keep yourself levelheaded every single time, and NOT PANIC. 

So cry on, my baby. It’s never a sign of weakness! You’ll know that it’s a beautiful vent for clogged emotions. In your case, it’s for the basic needs after all! 

Each to one’s own. Let’s remember that, before making judgmental cries!

Notes from a Melomaniac - Happy World Music Day - 21st June

 

“If music be the food of love, play on…” Shakespeare’s renowned Twelfth Night begins with these words uttered by the protagonist Orsino, who is lost in love with Olivia. This sentence is etched in my head since school days, such is the power of language and music, itself.

So, a day without music? Nah, I don’t know what it feels like! Does one forget to breathe after all? All music lovers have their own private connection with music – through their playlists from different times. Each song has a story, a memory associated, some good, some sad, or some, that are just filled with a random emotion, some for the rain, some for a bright sunny morning, some that just put you to a peaceful sleep, some that give you a musical hug, or some that give you a hearty cry, letting you vent it all out, without any human intervention. These are the private moments with music that you build, and maintain over a period of time.

Thanks to my cousin (my big brother), who first introduced me to this haven, by helping me carry music along. He gifted this precious Sony Walkman, through which I could listen to music on the go, especially during train journeys. Those were the days when AR Rahman’s songs were a rage, and the Walkman became an addiction, a must-have travel package, without which I didn’t know what a train journey was. The sound of the train touching the fish-plates used to be synonymous with that of ARR’s music – one such album is Dil Se.

Having grown up listening to ARR first, I then dug backwards – Ilayaraja and MSV, with the help of my mom’s craziness associated with music. Carnatic is a different genre altogether, and it’s like an acquired taste with foods. My playlists expanded in no time, quite rapidly with all types. As much as I love Carnatic and Western Music, I have this extraordinary madness for Raja Sir's music. The list is just endless, can you assess the depth of the ocean? Such is the depth of music as well, it’s unfathomable, and is an endless treasure, never failing to keep you sane. It's like music for each mood you are in. Carrying music with me stuck to me as a trait, thanks to my brother for sowing these seeds early enough.

The therapeutic values of music are already proven well enough, so much so that with my own experience during my very recent pregnancy, I engaged myself with this self-stress-busting activity of singing and listening to music, which kept me sane enough throughout the period. After all, the benefits of listening to the music you love, even impacts fetal health in a positive way, I can vouch for this, as am seeing a live example of it in my child, post-delivery. If ever you thought how would infants understand music, just a couple weeks ago, I happened to listen to music being played in the Neonatology Intensive Care Unit at the hospital where I had the delivery – this is a place where they keep infants/newborns under observation and treatment for various reasons. When asked to the duty nurse about the music that was being played in this unit, she said with a smiling face that they were instructed by the doctor for music to be played, as it promotes pleasantness, leading to better sleep in infants.

Music helps build so many human connections, by building bridges directly into the minds of people, where even words fail to do their job. Sharing a thought vs. Sharing a song makes a difference of sea and earth, it immediately stitches any scars or fortifies existing connections! The excitement of sharing a liking for similar music knows no bounds.

Without further ado, wishing you all a Happy Music Day. Engage in some form of music or the other, sing your heart out and bask in the mirth of music!

Leaving you all with a collage of my favorite music related quotes.

False Positivity

 

Positivity is one of the most overrated emotions – as though if you’d turn on a switch, in no time, the brain would communicate to the heart to wash out the negativity and pump in positive cells in the blood stream!

Welcome to the Utopian World of Optimism!

In the name of optimism, there are groups, clubs, organisations, social media pages, a million search results, and pop-up feeds asking you to stop the negative thinking right away and ingest positivity.

Granted that having a healthy and positive mindset, does help with a better view of any given situation. However, in order to firmly accomplish that, you will need to first acknowledge the negativity. Before you replace the negative thought with a positive thought, you will have to be careful in not suppressing the negative emotion in the first place.

Understand the situation, think through the negativity, and the rough patch that you are going through. Follow it up by venting it out to someone who is emotionally intelligent and trustworthy. Remember that both these parameters need to be mandatorily met for you to vent the feelings out. Level-headedness first, and if they’re level-headed, to a large extent, they’d most likely be trustworthy as well, but double-check for your own safety. If you don’t have any such people in your circle, kindly refrain from sharing. Instead, turn to praying or self-meditation. Even isolating yourself for a bout of tears is extremely helpful in letting out the emotions. The whole point is, you will first need to get the emotion out of your system in order to get to the next step of adopting a better frame. Think of it like trying on different frames at an optical store, you’d first remove one to wear another, right?

This may sound like a lengthy process while transitioning from one frame to another, however, it could be solved sooner than you think, if only you pause for a moment and accept the reality first.

This post is in no way a preaching against optimism – if you carefully exercise some of your emotional intelligence, you will understand that for the positivity to last in your head, it certainly helps to let the dust settle and then take the optimism on, head-on!

It takes mindfulness and tons of patience to practise this method, however, it is an extremely rewarding experience. You might think that it would take a long time to get the emotion out through this process, however, if done in a timely manner when you are actually feeling it, it works wonders. It’s much better than having to suppress the feeling and forget about it, as the repercussions of this are unhealthy and like deposited fat, you’d have deposited emotions, that yield zero interest. It would instead compound and make things even worse!

In essence, if you ever get the chance to help someone through such a situation, please do them a favor by helping them acknowledge the negativity first, rather than shunning it right away. Once you acknowledge, you are already onboard for helping them through the next train of thoughts – after all, when there’s a weed in the plant, don’t you first help it by cutting that out, to let a new leaf grow?

Make human contacts warmer – talking through helps, consider holding hands or offering a hug (if you can), these go a very long way to pacify and instill a sense of calmness.

Next time you feel low, angry, distressed, irritated, or any other synonym related to this feeling, remember that it is okay to be not okay – Batteries have both sides too! Just remember to not dwell in these thoughts for long, take a break, and offer yourself some distractions. Mindfully then practise the art of acknowledging the negative situation and then realign yourself. It’s as simple as that.

Disclaimer: This is based on a true incident that happened to me as recent as last week, in an absolute state of distress due to post-partum; until I heard a couple of words from my doctor who just said something very simple to me – I am sure you would feel stressed it’s okay to be that way. Just Feel It first and then move on!

That’s it – that’s all I needed, and not some fancy positivity rant-filled advice. With that, I just needed some alone-time to cry it all out and then have a conversation with God. My wireless connection got stronger after all!

 

 

 

Advice about Advice

For advising in itself is an art. There are subtleties to it, which need to be handled with care. Remember you’re dealing with live emotions when you rattle out your piece of advice. How much of it gets into their head, depends directly on the tone, and the content of info you want to pass along. Just because there’s a lot coming from your experience, it doesn’t directly give you the passport to infiltrate the listener’s head with information overload. There’s a tactic and a method to this craziness called Advice. 

There’s absolutely no problem if we aren’t good at this technique, we just need to hold our horses and slow down. Sugarcoating words like my 2 cents, my suggestion, etc., would make zero sense if the listener isn’t in the frame of mind in the first place. 

With that said, here’s a paradox about it. Still try the advising technique, by doing an easy temperature check of the emotions and situation, and then start in small dosages. If it works it does, otherwise, save for another time, when it’s appropriate. The fear of the other person failing miserably could take precedence over your instincts, and that’s probably what’s prompting your rant-driven advice. But this can be easily spotted through your temperature check of emotions, where you can easily tell how prepared the person is. It’s as simple as that. High amounts of Patience levels are required for both parties. 

If all this seems too much, it’s absolutely normal to stay quiet, and just keep the person in your prayers, which will go a longer way, than a failed verbal attempt. 

As I write this, I vouch for every word and punctuation of this piece, as this is exactly what l

follow with everyone, alike, to my best possible knowledge. I also have a list of people who constantly return to me for advice. The proof of the pudding lies in the eating, isn’t it? To advice, and be advised, it takes a great deal of mind positioning and awareness of the present situation. If you let your own thoughts run like a train, there’s no way, people would pay heed, which will possibly lead to your own isolation. 

P.S. No hard feelings. This was a much needed let-out. 

Break

A Monday sans its typical blues. It has rained for a few minutes right in the morning, leaving it lush and vivacious , accentuating the already colourful flowers with more colour. 

No official to-do’s for the day, not an iota of work to be worried about. Watching the rain is a great thing to do by itself. Also sang Ilayaraja’s Vaan Megam song along with the rain, no one can hear anyway, for the sound of the rain is louder.

The Sunday mood can afford to linger on. Also, The Fool’s Garden song plays in my head…”am sitting here in a boring room, it’s just another rainy Sunday afternoon…”

Evidently, am on a break. Sign-offs and Hand-offs done right before I left from work on Friday night. Passing the baton over to some responsible caretakers in the team, who stand by me through thick and thin. Not to mention A Tremendously supportive management team and client partner (one who extends beyond work relationships) - now that’s some culture worth creating, for it’s solid and withstands the test of time, through honesty, trust and commitment. It would only do you good, after all. It’s not so much about getting favors or anything, just that it makes life a lot easier in general. It’s definitely worth trying if you haven’t tried it yet. 

Okay so with this kind of support, it’s certainly worth taking a break, and passing over all your responsibilities, only to take on something even bigger, a journey that’s about to commence (any moment perhaps), rightly matching up to the name of the month as well - MAY. 

There are sabbaticals, and then there are short breaks which working people normally indulge in. This one to me though, is my maiden break from work, ever since 18 (when I first began my career). There was a lump in my throat when I left from work on Friday, for it turned out to be quite an emotional sign-off, with wishes pouring in, genuinely, for my safety first. 

After all, embarking into a break to take on motherhood on full throttle, is worth mentioning, isn’t it? 

You’d first need to mentally and physically prep yourself up for the big game, taking it slowly, but steadily; turning a deaf ear to too much hype and listen to your already, developing motherly instincts instead. 

So here I am, standing right in the middle-ground, waiting to pop, treading slowly into the 9th, trying to make every single day towards motherhood count. A worthy break, before a tiny little being steals all my time!

Charioteering

 

“Have you reached safely Amma – I am Subramaniam Auto Driver calling from Chennai.” My mother received this return call from an auto-driver who had dropped her off at the railway station last week. A heart-warming recollection, perhaps a courteous after-sales service, if you will 😊 The result of being treated well.

A driver has to be treated with enough respect – financially and morally – my uncle says this all the time. There’s a reason why he says that; he’s quick to back it up with a couple noteworthy stories from his repertoire in Santhana Dharma mythology.

Devavritha, who later becomes Bhishma, gets to know of his father Shanthanu’s gloom through their driver. Devavritha is at a marriageable age and was already going to be the heir apparent. However, during a hunt, Shanthanu comes across a beautiful woman by name Yojanagandhi. He immediately goes in search of her father and expresses his desire to marry his daughter – Yojanagandhi (who later comes to be known as Satyavati). He is so lovelorn and depressed due to the fact that he also has an existing son – Devavritha who is ready to be married and coronated.

Devavritha learns this secret through their driver – he goes to explain King Shanthanu’s depression to Devavritha. Learning this, Devavritha tells his father that he is ready to give up on his crowning and lets him know that he doesn’t wish to marry. He then convinces his father to get married to Yojanagandhi and have the offspring from that marriage to become the next King.

This is famously known as the Bhishma Prathigna (stringent vow) – who thus goes on to receive the boon of Iccha Mrithyu (postponing death until he was ready).

In another couple incidents straight off the battlefield – Kurukshethra in Mahabharatha, we have the classic example of our very own Parthasarathy (Partha – Arjuna’s Sarathy – Charioteer) – Krishna doubling up as Arjuna’s charioteer and even going to express His Vishwaroopam form to His dear friend and maternal cousin Arjuna. We all know the importance of the role that Krishna plays here by giving him the motivation he needs through the divine song – Bhagavad Gita. Thanks to Arjuna’s depression, that the world got this jewel of Gita.

Quite the opposite happens in the case of arch rival and Arjuna’s paternal cousin – Karna. His charioteer Shalya is infamous for his deliberate persuasions to divert Karna’s attention and in ripping his confidence apart – making him feel weak and debilitated. The world knows about Karna’s expertise in archery, which is beyond comparison with that of Arjuna’s skills – even Krishna endorses this fact. However, Krishna converts this into a positive and turns it as an opportunity for Arjuna. While the contrary is done by Shalya for Karna.

These little stories from our Bharatha Ithihasa explain the value of a good driver whose job is not only to drop the passenger off at a point. The journey is as essential as the destination and it takes skill and common sense for a driver to complete his task at hand. The compensation paid to him is thus for this very reason, vs. the distance he’s covering in terms of kilometers. There are factors like taking you through the best route, with utmost safety. If he is thus irked by the bargain right at the start, beware of the ride ahead. It’s not so much about being oblivious about the economics of the ride. It’s about being fair to the driver as well as taking into account our own wellness as a passenger. The positives would outweigh the negatives and the end result would be a safe drive, which we wouldn’t want to regret in the future. You can’t put a cost to safety and measure it in the same scale as that of the price of fuel. It’s always a wholesome package that you receive – we will need definite dependence on the sense and sensibilities of the driver, who’s role cannot be ridiculed or reduced to that of mere driving. It takes a certain road sense to navigate, after all.