Online

 

If it’s online, it’s valid. All else, is seemingly losing its existence, sooner than ever. Welcome to the online bubble which we constantly reside in. So consumed we are, in the world wide web of plurality, that we don’t realize that there’s reality around the daily life we lead.

What we see virtually is more appealing than the real thing itself. Take the case of when someone sends you a pic of theirs vs. that person being physically present, right beside you. The existence then is reduced to nothing or complete non-existence, perhaps. Even worst, there is no acknowledgement of the physical person who is around you. There’s a constant urge to keep clicking pics and instantaneously sharing them. What then happens to the real-time conversation you could possibly have struck with each other? The entire meeting is reduced to a mere show-off.

The tone of a conversation seems to be far more understood in chat language vs. real-time interactions. With too much social networking, have people forgotten how to socialize for real?

Well, the sad answer is a vehement YES. If only we transcended out of our screen-lives and struck real conversations, we would understand that people are real.

 Virtual hugs and kisses seem to take precedence over doing a simple hug when your loved one is right next to you. If oxytocin and dopamine levels can increase with a meagre virtual chat, then imagine the power of a warm and tight hug, when done face to face?

Where does one really draw the line and decide saying okay, so the person is going to be around me for sure, and hence I can get back to them any time? Though this may seemingly be insignificant, it’s a sure route to failure, in many relationships. Do we even know what our partners feel? Are human connections, humane enough?

Sadly enough, the presence of your loved ones is taken for granted, which is by and large the root cause for all problems. We don’t want to play out the scene of the partner or loved one not being around, simply because they’re just there. We're just so used to viewing with the lens of 'last-seens,' 'blue-ticks,' 'online' and 'offline' statuses of people that we don't even realise when people go off-radar for real. Do we know how present we are, when we are present with our loved ones?

Relationships die a silent death with partners losing interest, over a period of time. If only we paused, and paid attention to the little details, issues could be discovered sooner than later. By this, I don’t mean that we have to keep stock of every tiny detail and keep doling trivia out to the family members – that would turn out to be mere annoyance – there would be zero space in such a relationship, leaving the partners choked, or rather asphyxiated.

It’s all about walking on the rope of balance, so that we feel heard, seen and understood. It’s after all, acknowledgement of the individual’s presence which is the first step to the making of a stronger relationship. Indulge in frequent ‘me-times,’ as well as dates with partners, or in the case of elderly members, some outings with them as well, so that you have a mix of both worlds. This way, we are also, being inclusive.

The value of physical touch is often underestimated as well. The physical touch heals more sicknesses, both mental and physical, than any drug in the whole world. If anything, the pandemic has taught us this lesson. There are more people who fall even sicker due to isolation than the corona virus itself.

Daily hugs and some nice indulgence with the partners, adds value and more meaning to relationships. What are we running behind, after all? What are we doing with all the saved time? Is it being ploughed back for something productive? This is a question which we have to ask ourselves, for there’s no one straight answer.

Going back to the world wide web of plurality, this very topic, these few paragraphs, when vocalized, would not find a pair of ears paying rapt attention. However, if the same content is published, it would seem to have more validation. An Instagram story or a WhatsApp status carries more weightage than what someone is truly going through. Online behaviour seems to dictate character more than real social interactions. The human mind is exposed to internet diarrhoea that it doesn’t know where to press the pause button.

If only we step out and made eye contact in our human interactions, the social distancing would shrink. With everything being more virtual than ever, the onus is on us to make relationships meaningful, while our loved ones are still physically present around us. Above all else, we just need do better at communication, which is the key to every single interaction.